It’s Parable Wednesday! The day where I take a story seemingly unrelated to dating or relationships, and tie it in at the end.
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I was playing the mind-bogglingly addictive smash sensation Gears of War II (no, they’re not paying me to say that) with a good friend of mine the other day, and I got my ass handed to me.
For those of you not familiar with Gears, it is a popular third-person tactical shooter game in which the remaining humans battle invading underground monsters (“Locusts”) for the future and survival of humanity. Having long ago beaten the storyline mode, we found ourselves exploring the competitive aspect of Gears.
The basic competitive mode is straight-forward: human player, with a team of AI “bots” faces off against another human player with a team of AI ‘bots.” To win, just kill all members of the opposing team. Easy peasy.
After some cajoling, I agreed to play as the Locust team, a decision which I would soon come to regret.
You see, Locusts are not known for their intelligence. And on my team happened to be a particularly dull fellow by the name of “Drone.”
Drone wasn’t a bad chap, per se. In fact, he was clever–to a point. He would see enemy gunfire, put two and two together, and realize that at the end of that gunfire there was, per force, an enemy. Lamentably, it was the finer points that escaped Drone, and, overcome with excitement at the prospect of killing his foe, he would run towards him headlong, oblivious to the barrage of bullets ripping his flesh from his bones. Drone did this five times consecutively.
Certainly, one might argue that, other than taking space that might more aptly be filled by a more effective teammate, Drone did little tangible damage to me or the other bot (a much more reserved and clever character by the name of “Grenadier”). Sadly, this was not the case.
After offering himself up as unintentional ritual sacrifice for the opposition, the opposing team was then able to make use of him as a “meat shield,” (i.e., using his corpse to absorb my and Grenadier’s bullets).
I lost the match 5-3.
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There’s a lesson in here. Choose who you roll with (and under what circumstances) wisely. It’s not just themselves they can hurt–it’s you.
Could Drone have some use outside of that particular variety of competitive play? Sure. Will I ever, ever, EVER let him on my team again? Hell no.
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