I was reading through my well-worn copy of Tony Robbins’ classic Awaken the Giant Within the other day, and came across a section that made me laugh.
Before I go any further let me say: I like Tony Robbins–I haven’t met him, but he seems like a real swell fellow who honestly just wants to help people. That said, this particular part of the book made me realize why I have a fundamental dissonance with Tony Robbins and his ilk, as well as so many people in the Seduction Community: the idolization of “More.”
The offending chapter was on goal setting. In this particular section, Tony presented an exercise in which the reader should list his or her material and physical goals, and then set a time line for them. “Don’t hold back!” he encourages, “List whatever comes to mind!” I found none of this particularly disturbing until my eyes were accosted by a large bulleted list of what were, in Tony’s words, “some suggestions to get you started.” Some of these suggested material goals include:
- Building a cottage, castle, or beach house
- Owning a private yacht, jet plane, or ISLAND
- Owning, and I quote: “[a] private zoo stocked with giraffes, alligators, and hippos”
- Pitch at the World Series
- Again, I quote: “Race camels between the pyramids of Egypt with your best friend–and win.”
I read some of these over the phone to my sister, who responded: “That’s great! So it’s like a thought exercise, right? To show people how silly and shallow their physical and material desires are and remind them of what matters.”
I had to spend the next several minutes explaining to a very incredulous sister that in fact these goals were not tongue-in-cheek, and there was no overarching plan to reveal the simplicity of physical pleasures. I’m still not quite sure it’s sunk in with her.
Now, that’s my sister–she’s a very sweet woman who has a hard time fathoming that people can be so shallow. I on the other hand do not. Largely and most probably due to the fact that I am relatively shallow myself, and two of the biggest things I want out of life are a Cadillac car and a Rolex watch.
But! I am more than content to drive a Chrysler and wear a Casio in the interim. And if I die without ever having stepped foot into the driver’s seat of a Cadillac, I will not necessarily have died unfulfilled.
The problem with people is that people are greedy. They hear “MORE better FASTER stronger BIGGER” and their brains promptly shut off and all they know is they want. Of course, when you think about it, it’s easy to realize that the solution to life’s problems is not necessarily–or even usually–”more.”
The tricky thing about more is that there’s always, well, more. There’s always the more expensive luxury vehicle. The bigger house. The next exotic and endangered animal you want to add to your private zoo.
“More” is unattainable, and not the or even a key to happiness.
The very same concept applies to your relationships. Most “gurus” promote the idea of sleeping with as many women as possible and tout the virtues of the player lifestyle. But I’ve got a newsflash for you: you will not be a 65 year-old player. And I highly recommend against waiting until you’re 65 or somewhere near there to figure it out the hard way.
It might take some practice, and you might spend some time playing the field in the interim, but at some point, out of consideration for your future 65 year-old self if nothing else, you’ll want to find someone that offers you something more than just a notch in your belt.
The philosophy of more sells books. It makes for great 20 minute Oprah featurettes. But it doesn’t conjure happiness.
Powered by