If you’ve had experience with the opposite sex, then you’ve most likely also had experience with the king of all games, the Hot-Cold game. The Hot-Cold game is one of the most frustrating ever to be played by man or woman. So today, we’re going to break it down to its component elements, and look at the best way to tackle it.
I’m going to break this post down into three sections: Why someone plays the game, how to respond, and what the prognosis is.
(If you’re still unclear as to what exactly the Hot-Cold game is, watch this video, all the way through. Imagine that the Snow Miser and the Heat Miser were the SAME person. In a dating context. Who says I expand metaphors beyond their practical use?)
Why Does Someone Play the Game?
The Hot-Cold Game is played by people who like what folks in the community would call “orbiters.” An orbiter is basically a person someone keeps around so that they feel special and popular, but doesn’t have any real interest in. People use the Hot-Cold game to build and maintain orbiters of the opposite sex, both to boos their own self-esteem, and their apparent value to others.
The hot part of the game serves to draw them in, and a cold phase is employed whenever necessary to calibrate the person, and keep them from getting close enough to be a point where the person playing the game could reasonably be expected to commit anything to them.
How You Should You Respond to Someone Playing the Game?
The thing to keep in mind with someone playing the Hot-Cold game is that, as the name implies, they’re regulating temperature, and working like a thermostat. They will pump out as much heat as is necessary to warm you up to them to the level they want you to be, and then, if necessary, pump out cold air to cool you down when you get too warm.
But how do they know when you’re at the right temperature? By observing your actions and reactions, which they will do so fastidiously.
Someone playing the Hot-Cold Game will constantly be on the lookout for confirmation that you are, in fact, at or above the level of interest they want you to be at. Only when that happens will they begin to cool down.
So the idea is, if you want them to continue to pour on the heat, never give a sign of interest. This can be difficult, as the person playing the game will often go to great lengths to convince you they are interested in you and all you have to do is take the bait and you can both live happily ever after. But when you’ve identified someone as playing this kind of game, you have to keep it playful and aloof the whole time. As soon as you give them the confirmation they’re looking for, they’ll go cold again and you’ll be back at step one.
I’m interested in someone playing this game; what is my prognosis?
I’m not going to lie to you–I love you too much for that. It’s not good. I’m not certain it’s really all that possible to have a rewarding relationship with someone playing this (or any similarly serious) kind of mind-game.
If you respond in the manner I’ve outlined, you’ll get the most favorable response you’re going to get. But imagine how frustrating it would be, over time, to continually have to put up a front of disinterest with someone you are genuinely interested in. Kind of a buzz-kill.
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